A year in the life of chicken

“I’m telling you, something strange is going on here!” says Betty in January.

“What has the hooman done?!” Hilda is aghast.

“Ou nou did she change something again?!” asks Snow White.

“Yuck! New stuff on the floor!” says Gwendolyne, the know it all.

“What?!! This is so scary!” the ladies cluck in chorus.

Not everyone is pleased about having the cleaning lady visit…

After a long winter break the ladies are laying eggs again by the end of February.

“That one’s mine!!” says Bertha.

“What?!” asks Hilda.

“No mine!” shouts Gwendolyne.

“What? There’s salad?!” asks Betty.

"No, silly, the hooman is admiring our eggs."

"I want to see!"

“Don’t crowd me out.”

“I’m not! It’s Bertha…

Once spring comes, the ladies get to come out and play as long as I'm in the garden keeping an eye out for hawks.

“What is the silly hooman up to?”

"Calls it gardening, she does."

"Whaat? Stealing our worms, she is!"

"Worms? What worms?"

"Worms don't grow on dead leaves, silly."

"What leaves?"

“Is there any food on this picnic?!”

"Best follow the hooman, she always has food."

The girls have been out playing in the wildflower garden all Sunday in June and I hear them clucking excitedly all the way to the kitchen.

“Ooh look at the pretty flowers.”

“Try the herbs!”

“What herbs?”

“There’s insects too!”

“I think this must be Narnia.”

“You think?”

“Best girls day out ever!”

Summer is filled with happy ladies luncheons.

”Come, come girlies! It’s dandelions for lunch today!”

“Dandelions?”

“Salad, I think…”

“Nice colours on the veggies!”

“The hooman says five veggies a day keeps the doctors away.”

“What does she know?? We get ten!”

Sometimes the girls come knocking on the door:

“So how about second dinner?!”

“I think you forgot breakfast..”

“Any snacks inside?”

“And how long do we have to wait in this queue??”

“Is there a queue here?”

“I’m first!!”

“What’s that hooman doing in there anyways??”

The girls are having Sunday lunch in September with Putte keeping watch.

“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” coos Bertha.

“Ooh, our Putte is handsome..!” thrills Snow White.

“I heard the Hooman say she changed his name, seeing he’s too nice for the pot.” (Gwendolyn has all the best gossip)

“What pot? It’s broccoli today!” says Hilda.

“Ooh, gossip! I love gossip…” coos Bertha.

“What name? Pot?” asks Hilda.

“No, Putte. The Hooman said all nasty cockerels are called Putin and Trump, and they end up in a pot.” says Gwendolyn.

“Well this is broccoli dear.” Betty always has the last word.

By autumn the girls are actively involved in pest control.

“Ooh what’s this?!”

“I want one!”

“No it’s mine!”

“What did the hooman bring us?!”

“Yummy!!”

My very trendy girlies are super excited about using the less beneficial insects as a sustainable protein source.

In December the ladies are enjoying the office Christmas party:

“Hooman says Father Christmas is coming.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t care, it tastes great!”

“Apparently it’s a man with a beard.”

“Nooo? I haven’t seen one.”

“Silly hooman must mean Feather Christmas…”

“That’s Bertha then. Her beard is beautiful!”

“What Christmas? I want some!”